If You're Still Trying You're Not Failing

It's been a while since I post something on here.
To let you all know, I failed and started smoking again.
I am smoking for at least 2 months and now I want to quit smoking all
over again. 

I am smoking my last weed while typing this.
I want to quit smoking for 5 days and go on from there, why only 5 days, you might ask. Because every time I say this is my last smoke,  I will keep smoking one after another and then wake up the next morning and buy me a new pack of cigarettes and bag of weed. So maybe by saying to myself it's just for 5 days, it will be easier to start this journey of quit smoking once and for all.

By posting this I hope it will be another motivation for myself to stay away from smoking,
so I can bring some positive news in my next message.
Stay tuned & we see shall see what happens



                                                             TO BE CONTINUED...

Something new

I'm going to start with 'miniseries' on my blog so stay tuned...

I QUIT

Quik Update:
About three weeks ago I started smoking cigarettes again. Yes I know I was weak in that moment. How the smoking started was all because of a party & hanging around people I knew would trigger me to smoke again. So I did, and continued to smoke for three weeks after.

Last sunday, 18th of June I quit smoking cigarettes & weed all together. I quit cold turky. The first day was the hardest, but I did it. I'm still fighting and beating these cravings and it's getting better day by day.

My Confession

This past weekend I had a little relapse. I have smoked cigarettes, not one, not two, but about 7 cigarettes, spread out over 3 days. I smoked on Friday, Saturday, and had my last one on Monday morning.

Smoking those cigarettes didn't make me feel any better, It didn't give me any satisfaction liked it used to, but I still continued smoking after the first one.
I started to noticed that my body was asking for the nicotine, so I had to get my mind back on track and focus on my goals on why I quit smoking in the first place.

I have to stay positive and not beat myself up for this little relapse I had. I'm way stronger than the addiction that's trying to pull me back down, as long if I keep that in mind and focus on the good and positive things in life I will beat it and live a smoke-free life.
Quit smoking weed is my next focus, but I will leave that for another post.

The Illusion Of Smoking

As a smoker you might love your cigarettes, they are your buddy when you're mad, sad, happy or lonely. They are your dessert when you finish your meal, they will keep you company when you are alone waiting at a bus stop. It's like they are the only 'ones' who can help you and understand you in every situation. Friends & family may abandon you, but they will stick to your side with no intention of leaving you. They are your best buddy, because they know all your ups & downs and were always by your side.
Going through this for all these years can make it hard for anyone to abandon their "buddy".

But in reality, cigarettes are your biggest enemy. they are killing you slowly with each puff you take.
A lot of people are oblivious about the dangers of smoking, it's not that they don't know what smoking can do to them, they just don't want to believe what it actually does to you.
It's hard for a lot of smokers to believe that smoking can cause all these kind of diseases that can kill you, especially if you see a lot of smokers walking around looking just fine and healthy.
But do you realize that people who are really sick due to smoking, a lot of time don't come outside, so you rarely see them.

Let's get deeper into the reality of what smoking can do to your health.

• First of all, smoking makes you addicted to it, even if you think you're not... I'm sorry... you are. And it's not only those who smoke heavily that are addicted, also if you smoke one cigarette a day or only on the weekends, you're still addicted. It's the nicotine in a cigarette that makes you addicted. When you inhale the nicotine you breathe it in through your lungs. Nicotine gets absorbed into your blood and brought to your brains within 10 seconds. And it's when the nicotine hit your brains, you get that good feeling from smoking.

• Lung cancer. Smoking cigarettes is the number one risk factor of getting lung cancer. 

•  COPD ( Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary diseases)  which include Chronic bronchitis and Lung emphysema. Having COPD makes it hard to breathe, it will cause long term disability and an early death

• Heart diseases. Due to smoking you can get less blood and oxygen flow to your heart this can cause blockages an narrowing in your arteries. This could eventually cause a stroke that can leave you paralyzed, having an altered brain function or death.

• Mouth diseases, a lot of smokers suffers from bad mouth hygiene. Smoking can also lead to mouth- and throat cancer. Wounds, soars and infections in your mouth will heal in a slower process due to smoking.

Smoking is deadly, don't deceive yourself by thinking it's not.

This is just a small list of what can happen to your body if you keep smoking cigarettes.

Don't buy the illusion of smoking... If you never started smoking, do yourself a favor, and don't!!

And if you're still a smoker, join me on this journey of life, and quit those awful, nasty cigarettes.

You can do it!!

Don't Give Up!

Love yourself,
Enjoy your life,
Believe...
Have Faith,
The struggle is hard
The fight is hard
The road is long
But one day, one day,
You will get there,
And look back on this journey,
And know...
If I have Overcome this,
I can do anything






Don't give up! No matter in what situation you are right now!
My situation is far from great right now, but if I can do it, know that you can do it too!
Keep motivating yourself to get where you want to be in life.

We have to remember, life is to short to keep playing around

What Has Change Since I Quit Smoking Cigarettes

As you all know I don't smoke cigarettes anymore. Although I'm still smoking weed, I already have noticed some changes in my appearance.

First of all, my teeth are wither. I do my dentist check every six months, and for the last the two years, every now and then, my dentist polishes my teeth for me. Usually within a month they were yellow with brown spots on it, especially my under-teeth.
A week after I quit smoking, I had a dentist appointment, he polished my teeth, and surprisingly my teeth are still the same color since he did it. Normally by now my teeth used to be yellow with ugly brown spots on it, ughh it was so ugly and I hated it... but I still continued smoking.

My nails are whiter, my two fingernails where I used to hold my cigarettes between aren't yellow anymore. If i did a manicure, after two days they were yellow/ brownish , you could actually see the tar on my nails, very frustrating.

I'm not smelling like a walking nicotine stick anymore. How lovely is it, when you spray your
perfume on you and it smells like that and not a dirty mixture of perfume and nicotine.

My house doesn't have the heavy nicotine smell anymore, I can finally invite people over without having to be ashamed of the nasty smell lingering around my house. Because it didn't matter how many candles I lit, or cleaning I did, or having my windows open all day long, my house kept having that awful smell as soon as I lit up a cigarette.

My skin is feeling softer and it's smoother, especially in the face area.

So overall I'm glad with the little changes that are happening already. I can't wait when I'm actually all done with smoking and how much more changes I will go through.

Getting Out Of Your Comfort Zone

It seems like every year passes by faster than the previous year, already we are in February.
This month I will focus on 'getting out of my comfort zone'.
I am still cigarette-free, but not 'weed-free'. Hopefully this will be the month I can scratch that of my goal list, and really say I'm a non-smoker.

Trying to stick to my goals, I realized I really need to get out of my comfort zone to achieve my goals. So this month I will force myself to do the things I normally wouldn't do or I keep pushing for tomorrow.

 The last years my comfort zone has been, sitting behind my laptop and smoking some weed, in my free time that is. That needs to change, I can get so much more done when using my time useful, and eventually even get of smoking weed.

Changing is hard, but change is what needs to happen to recreate my life, and life the live I want to.

Still Saying No To Cigarettes??

Today is the 9th day of me quit smoking, cigarette that is.

If you didn't know, cigarettes were my greatest struggle. I smoked a lot during the day, as soon as I woke up, the first thing I did was smoke a cigarette and the last thing I did was smoke a cigarette. So for me not to smoke, and now for 9 days in a row, is a great achievement.

I still get cravings, especially in the mornings and sometimes when I'm done eating but it's not as much as in the beginning. Overall the cravings are not as hard as I  thought they would be. I would imagine myself pulling my hair out, going crazy & unable to continue my day without a smoke. But the cravings turned out to be way easier to handle. 

I also have a different mindset now, I try not to think that I'm missing something without that smoke. I see it more as, 'I've tried a lot of years to quit smoking and now that I finally succeed I don't want to go through those struggles again'.


The things that reminds me not to cave as I'm having cravings are;

• Once I take just one puff, I have to start all over again with counting my quit days 
• It's not like smoking is delicious and I'm missing out, it's the withdrawal in me that's letting me think that I need to smoke.
• I know from the past, that if I just take one puff from a smoke I would be addicted in no time and smoking a pack a day again, and the struggle to quit smoking is way too hard to do all over again.
• I'm saving that €7-, a day, which I love.
• I don't have that awful smell, following me around like a second skin.
• I can finally start living the live I've always wanted as a non-smoker.
• I don't have to spent countless hours being depressed thinking of how smoking ruins my life, but at the same time feeling like you can't quit.  

Smoking weed is not something I do all day long. Mostly I smoke at night, if I have time I smoke in the morning and around 4/5 pm. But it's still something that I have to get rid of. Because as long as I'm still smoking weed, I'm not a non-smoker and I'm still addicted to something that doesn't benefit my life.

Make a Change!!

Let's make this year different from all the previous years. Let's end this year with a lot of our goals and dreams accomplished and as a way better person then how we entered this year.

As I've mentioned in a previous post, I'm really excited about this year, I'm ready to work hard on achieving my goals and seeing my life change. It's all because of changing my mindset, this time it won't stay at a change of mindset only, but I will work on achieving my goals as well.

I didn't accomplish any goals I'd set for 2016, but my eyes have opened in a lot of area's of my life, and on the decisions I'd made in life that got me where I am right now.
And let me tell you, I'm not even near where I want to be in life at this moment, but I know I will get there.

I'd lack motivation to do anything in life because my life wasn't how I wanted it to be. And don't get me wrong, I had the mindset, I educated myself on how I had to do the things I needed to do to accomplish my goals, I was at the start of completing some of my biggest goals in life. But I'd fallen in a depression and started to believe that my goals were out of reach.
It's only because I always had this feeling deep inside of me, that knew there's more in life for me, that I shouldn't give up on my dreams. The only one that can make a change in my life is ME, so I need to start and take steps towards recreating my life.


I've always written down my goals in life, it's something I started to do at an early age. Over the last couple of years I still wrote down my goals, but I didn't follow up on them. This year will be different. I've set my goals for these years, I broke it down in a 5 year goal, a 1 year goal, and then in my weekly goals. Every week I write down the goals I have to accomplish to come closer to achieving my 1 year goals. Based on my weekly goals I can plan what I have to do every day to achieve my goals.

It's important to write down your goals and break it down in steps on how to achieve them. This will keep you motivated and determined to get you where you want to be in life, to work harder towards your goals and it will also keep your mind focus on why you're doing this

So I challenge you to set some goals for yourself this year and to work daily on achieving them.
Get out of your comfort zone and recreate your life so you can do what you desire to do in life.

If you want to share your opinion about this topic,,
you can leave a comment down below.

Get Rid Of Toxic People

It's about time to make this the best year of your life. Maybe it means getting rid of  toxic people out of your life. If you want to get anywhere, or achieve your goals, it's necessary to get these people out of your life. You may think that their toxic ways will never effect you or rub of on you, trust me, it will.
You'll take over each others bad habits, which will hurt you in the future.


Get rid of these toxic people
You know for yourself who these toxic people around you are, maybe you'll have to make a list for yourself, whilst writing this list be honest to yourself. Perhaps the most negative people around you, could be your closest friends or family. But if you have a vision for yourself, your future, and what you want to do with your life, you have to get rid of these people.

Everybody knows the saying 'Show me your friends and I'll tell you who you are''.
This is so true, that's why it's important to choose your friends wisely, especially these days.


Surround yourself with positive people. People who educate themselves, who have good ambition in life and strive to achieve their goals. Having these people around you will challenge you to do better for yourself & to go out there and achieve your own goals.
Listen to motivational speeches and uplift yourself with positive words.


Educate yourself and better yourself in any way possible. If you don't have a lot of money, try to get as much free information about the things you want to learn. You can find a lot of free information on the internet, get a membership at the library, maybe there are free workshops you can join. Just go out there and find a way to educate yourself and improve your skills.

Make 2017 your best year

Happy New Year!!
I hope you enjoy your 2017 & that you may accomplish your goals and dreams.

Like every other year , a lot of people set new years resolutions.




If you did! Accomplish them this time, I know I will.
At the end of the year we will see which of our goals we have accomplished and completed.




I don't know why, but I'm very excited about this year. I hope you are excited too.